Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 2, July 31 2010

So I am a little later posting my ramblings on day 2. But at least I am getting it done right? So day two was a not as hard as day 1 because I attempted to fill in the gaps with another substance. More on that later.

The night before my girlfriend got home from a night with friends and she was really drunk and smelled like liquor. Instead of being understanding and trying to console a friend who maybe could use the same TLC that I got at my treatment program, I became irate right away and didn't sleep in the same bed. To be quite honest though, the smell of alcohol was making me want to lash out, and usually I lash out with a bottle of some sort of alcohol and then fall asleep like a rag doll thrown onto the ground (which was sort of my girlfriend at the moment). The following day (July 31st, which was actually later in the day because she got home around bar closing, 2 am), I let her have it. I didn't yell, but I told her all my concerns. The possibility of a DUI.. the cost of one.. the possibility of manslaughter (she wrecks cars sober).. and worse yet the possibility of yet another adult in this household losing their license.

I think me being sober was a good thing in this predicament. It gave me a good perspective and a great angle to defend my views on drunk driving. I am a receiver of two DUI's and both of them could have only been prevented if I DIDN'T DRINK in the first place.

Later that day she posted something on facebook along the lines of "I'm with you on the sober kick..." and we had a long conversation about other facets in our relationship while actually sober and learned a lot from the experience.

At one point during the day I finally decided that I really wanted a beer. I couldn't stand it. So I went for another thing I really enjoy and is about as cheap as beer.. PHO NOODLE. I rode my bike to a Noodle House that is further away than my usual. It felt great! It was probably not very healthy to go out and eat, and not very healthy to stuff my self but it calmed an urge. I told myself that every week that I stay sober for a week, I will have a Pho Friday. This sounds good to me, since Pho costs about 6 bucks and beer for a week was costing around $40.

Unfortunately after the Pho, I still had an urge. I calmed it with another substance that I really have been staying away from since I have been binge drinking alcohol, and that's CAFFEINE. I went to a liquor store walked all the way around the refrigerator wall, passed the beer and the four lokos, and ended up at the energy drink section. I purchased a Rip-It for 99 cent which cost a dollar and 67 cents because of a 50 cent atm charge and crv. I walked around the parking lot and drank it while picking up enough crv off the ground to more than make up for the 5 cents. Afterwards I realized I probably should have just drank water. More on that later.

When my girlfriend got back from work we went out for coffee.. (my caffeine idea hit me in the morning and I had texted her an invite for coffee). I had 3 shots of espresso. I realized that I was doing was crossing out one substance and adding another, but it's no big deal right? It's just COFFEE..

I woke up this morning feel cruddy and rolling out of bed later than I usually do (9:45). I attribute this to Caffeine. Today's later post of Day 3's ramblings will officially be Day 3 of no alcohol OR caffeine. Let this be a new pledge. I have the last two days of July down with no alcohol, starting august I am not drinking caffeine.

I can just FEEL the extra change jingling in my pocket!!

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